My PTSD related activism syndrom manifesto

M

One of the amazing things about activists is that we often deliberately expose ourselves to brutality when we believe it necessary. What is sometimes equally surprising is how little we know about the psychological effects of this violence. We need to prepare ourselves and learn how to support each other through the physical and emotional consequences of trauma.
https://www.activist-trauma.net/en/m…ters/ptsd.html

I'm looking at this photo of myself. It was taken during the Summer of 2014.
During the summer of 2014 there was a war here.
Rockets from Gaza flew over our heads.
There was an intifada here- still is.
Intifada means guerilla attacks on civilians.
We ourselves fear we might be the next victims of terrorist attacks.
we found ourselves in between two rivals:
we are against our government because it breaches the international law & commit war crimes.
At the same time, we might be targeted by the militant resistant factions.
Both opportunities are equally scary.
So the time now, for me is the summer of 2014.
I remember writing letters and sending photos to people in Gaza. Let them know not all Israelis support the massacre.
That is not something obvious, having an Israeli & a Palestinian, from two sides of the trenches in the war, to keep friendship & contact during the war. Every word we heard from Gaza was precious to us, as at the time w were persecutred by right wings extremists. The persecution was bad: we recieved threats, our friends were attacked in the streets.
Our family stopped talking to us during the war, as they are religious Zionists.
it was right after our wedding.
We spent all the money from the wedding on activism during the war.
I got sick.
I have to know It meant something, all the pain we've been through just to be on the side of 'No War'.
For someone like myself, who've seen & been through so Much violence, it had to mean something to stand up against violence as a grown up. But it hurts so much.

Remind me to stay away from the keyboard when I am upset
~To be denied of right to be heard- No one deserves it.
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